Partnerships, Pride and Councils

The ultimate example of a partnership is marriage. 

It is fairly common these days to turn on the television to a favorite sitcom and see the Wife as the leader of the household and the Husband portrayed as dumb, inept or otherwise childish.  This certainly isn’t the example I want my kids seeing on television.  I want them to see couples that respect each other, honor each other and support each other in their roles as Husband and Wife. 

In an address given in 2008, Richard Miller, PhD states, “With changing values and norms in Western societies shifting toward equality in marriage, there are less overt unequal power relationships in marriage. There are few spouses who admit or brag about being dominant and controlling in their marriages (although there are some!). Today, problems with power seem to be more subtle and less easily detectable.” 

When thinking about the sitcoms, these “less easily detectable” problems are seen in how the Husband is portrayed as dumb, inept or childish.

In President Henry Eryring’s Ensign Article titled, “That We May Be One”, from May 1998, he says, “The other warning is to beware of pride. A unity which comes to a family or to a people softened by the Spirit will bring great power. With that power will come recognition from the world. Whether that recognition brings praise or envy, it could lead us to pride. That would offend the Spirit. There is a protection against pride, that sure source of disunity. It is to see the bounties which God pours upon us not only as a mark of His favor but an opportunity to join with those around us in greater service. A man and his wife learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each other and their differences to complement each other in serving one another and those around them.”

In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” it states, “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”

In marriage, we can avoid power struggles by avoiding pride, and seeking to be humble and understanding with our spouse. 

One way couples can do this is by counseling together.  It does not need to be very formal, nor does it have to be very long.  But regularly coming together to discuss current issues, problems, future goals and progress will allow couples to work together and unify their commitments to each other and their family.

1. Richard B. Miller, “Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families.” BYU Conference on Family Life, Brigham Young University, March 28, 2009.
2. Henry B. Eyring, "That We May Be One" Ensign, May 1998, 66.